During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
