But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
