Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
