how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
