It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
