drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
