bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
