I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Randomize
