she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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