I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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