we have officially mastered the walk of shame
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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