No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
