stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
