No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
