you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
