If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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