You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
