Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
