What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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