I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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