I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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