he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
