Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
