just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
