Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
