I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
