Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
