Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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