she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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