That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
