does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
