Your tits are I can't wait for
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
