so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
