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I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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