he thought i was a dude.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
