Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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