P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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