Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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