i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
