he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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