We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
