Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
