honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
