it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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