Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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