i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
