bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
