his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
