If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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