I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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