I'm drive I can fine osifer
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize