this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
