new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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