he wants to bone in the snuggie
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
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She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
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I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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