I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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