There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
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I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
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He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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