THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize