you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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